Pirate Float, September 17/18, 2005

It be a trip that Long John Silver would be proud t' be a part of. Saturday we met at a secret hideaway called Akers Ferry. We stowed our rowboats at one bell past 10. We then set a course t' the lost island called Pulltite in search o' rumored hidden treasure. I was uneasy about t' crew that I'd recruited, a bunch o' cut throats they be. It was a mutinous bunch includin' a few well known buccaneers like One Eyed Willie, Platypus Saggy Arse and his pirate wench Jen t' Jewel and their drowned rat that they called Squirrel, Peg Leg Lauren and a strange soundin' pirate that I dubbed Heather t' English Pirate Spy who kept tryin t' make her parrot walk the plank. She kept threatenin' t' run me through so I kept me one good eye on her f'sure. A ragged bunch they be. It be a long and treacherous adventure where we lost many pirate jack tars. After bein' at sea for what seemed t' be many months we came upon a hidden cave. Ship rumor had it thar be hidden treasure in t' cave so we explored t'
cavern and found nothin'. After hearin' o' an attempted mutiny by One Eyed Willie, he was forced t' walk t' plank in that cave. He screamed all t' way t' Davy Jones Locker. Th' only treasure we found inside were bats and cold runnin' water. We met in battle with other pirate ships and defeated them with no problem. They were mostly old  broken down drunken pirates who couldn't hold their grog. They knew no battle like t' battle they took from us. After we sailed for many more months, we finally saw our first sign o' land. We sailed past t' first island cause another pirate ship had ran aground and we weren't much in t' mood t' share. We dropped anchor due east o' first island t' replenish our supplies and get some much needed rest. Once we setup camp we had a grand feast. About half t' crew must have ate somethin' that had been t' Davy Jones' Locker for awhile cause they themselves smelled dead shortly after our feast. Must have been what some of the local natives called refried beans. Not long after the feast, Jen t' Jewel surprised t' crew with some tasty Slime Leach Cobbler. That went well with all t' grog that was drank. Th' whole crew was out before midnight. It would be pirates luck that early t' next morn, a gully washer blew in from t' sea. It made t' rest o' t' adventure a wet one. I think t' bilge rats worked non stop for 2 or 3 weeks keepin' t' ships afloat. After a few more months o' sailin', we finally found t' lost island called Pulltite. There be no treasure there but only marooned jack tars. We found them without sail nor ship. We transported their captain t' a nearby island so that he could arrange rescue for t' rest o' his crew. All
in all it be a good adventure. A tale o' an adventure that will be told by pirates for years.

T' Capn'

Translation for you landlubbers;

First Annual Pirates Float Trip Report

The float ended up consisting of me, Bobby and Jennifer, Heather, Chris and Lauren. Saturday was a great float day. Everyone met at Akers Ferry (Hey it's really a ferry!!!) and shuttled our vehicles at 10:00 AM Sharp (Mountain Time). We floated from Akers Ferry to Pulltite. Saturday was a beautiful day with easy paddling and very little bumping on the rapids. We did have to avoid the occasional rowdies but all in all it was good. We floated to Cave Spring where we had to paddle in and take a look around. Chris for some off the wall reason wanted to swim in the cave. I think the exact quote was "man this is cold". Another comment was "can you say SHRINKAGE?!?!". The gravel bar where we wanted to camp located just past the cave was already taken so we just paddled a mile or so past it to the next one. Good thing because it was a better camp site anyway. We arrived at camp sometime around 5:00. It was a BYOM float so after the tents were pitched, everyone got busy cooking dinner. The menu selections were mixed, some had juicy steak and potatoes, some had some fine Mexican fajitas, and some had Mountain House chicken stew. Once dinner was over, it was time to build a roaring fire and take in the fresh country air(can you say "dueling refried bean farts"?). We all turned in around 9 or so. Sunday we were all awakened by thunder around 5:15. It started to rain shortly after 7:00. We were nearly all packed up and had our breakfasts behind us by then. We paddled straight through to the take out except for about 20 minutes when we crawled out of our boats due to the rain coming down so hard we couldn't see and
lightning a little too close for comfort. Once we reached Pulltite, Chris and Bobby went after Bobby and Jennifer's truck. Lunch was had at Winfield's by most of the crew and then back home to reality. I think this may be an annual event in the making.

Jerry